I did what i never want to do

On 3rd Dec i tear her photo and something very special for me. I cried at that time lot but then again i decide i never remember her and never will cry for her. But everytime i did wrong promise to me. Again today i cry lot only after 15 days. I think god have to make a rule that whenever partner ditch to you god take life of that person because some pain cant see by anyone and still pepole suffer lots from that pain. :(